Finding Your Way in Transition, Part 3 of 3: New Beginnings

A New Beginning is the third stage of transitions. The changes may be small, hardly noticeable, but there is a moment when you have crossed over from what has been to what will come next.

New Beginnings

New Beginnings don’t happen all at once. They can be a soft accumulation of things that have been brewing for a long time. A New Beginning can be adjusting to the new role of a caregiver; a role that you might not have chosen, but it chose you.

The New Way is a lot like moving from one home to another. At first, you cannot get your bearings. You turn the wrong way to get to the bathroom, and the lights switches are not where you expect. Slowly over time things fall into place and you know where the spatula is.

I was very close to my parents.  They both came from families where there was much loss and grief. I spent many years trying to fix and make up for those things and make their lives happier and more fulfilling. Toward the end of their lives, they were each extremely ill with chronic, debilitating conditions.  My mother had end stage emphysema and my father a severe heart condition and lung cancer. When I came to visit, and I visited often, they would each be lying on their respective couches. It was unbearably painful to see. I would cook, clean, go to the store and do anything I could to make it better for them. One day before I went into their house, I stood at the threshold of their home for a few moments feeling the sadness and helplessness. There was no more fixing. I looked up and asked the universe “what kind of a daughter am I supposed to be to my parents now?”  What I heard back was: “Just love them. Stop fixing, doing, busying yourself and just love them.”

As I crossed the threshold this time it was a New Beginning. My new role as a caregiver was simply to be a compassionate, loving, and a more present daughter.

I will always be grateful for that New Beginning. I cherished the time I had left with my parents more because of that small, hardly noticeable change as I stepped through their door and into my new role.

What is your New Beginning as a caregiver? Who do you want to be and how do you want to be? Take a few minutes to write down your thoughts in a notebook or journal. See what the universe wants of you.

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