Changing the Way You Help Yourself

See if this sounds familiar: you’re at your peak; the list of things to do is getting longer, and the more you try and clean it up, it multiples. “You’ve got this!” you say to yourself, but the stress continues to increase, and you find yourself becoming more scattered.


Are you willing to ask for help? Or do you see it as a sign of weakness? Do find yourself getting upset because others should know that you need help, and gosh darn it, why don’t they step in?!?

It’s easy to get caught up in either scenario, especially if you’re run down from stress or a busy home/work life. Caregivers often have this happen because they don’t want others to think they’re incompetent. Whether it’s a co-worker or sibling, you don’t want others to see the cracks in your inability to accomplish things.

Time to change. Think of asking for help as a sign of wisdom. You realize that you’re at your peak and that muddling through produces less efficient results. By taking an active step in reaching out, you are taking back the reins of your life. You take your car to the shop for service, right? Maybe even have a delivery service for groceries to ease the running back and forth? Those things both count as “help.”  Perhaps, then, whether it’s a problem you’re not sure how to solve, or you’re too emotionally drained, or just can’t figure out how to get that document sorted, you can raise your hand.

At work, you might find yourself unable to accomplish everything within a set period, but a co-worker seems to breeze through the same things. Have a conversation with them. Ask them how they do what they do ~ insights and tips can make a big difference.

There are also ways at work and home that you can help yourself, in addition to asking for help when you need it. Making lists can be time savers. But there’s an art to list-making. Rather than slapping things on paper, it’s important to prioritize the things you need to accomplish:

  • Make a master list of everything that needs to be taken care of.
  • Break that list down to priorities. High priority; preparing taxes. Low priority; finding a new lamp for the corner table. They both need to be done, but the taxes have a higher priority.
  • Then, break those tasks into smaller tasks, such as tax preparation. Set time aside on your calendar to pull together the itemized papers you’ll need; receipts, bills paid. Then another day for inputting data into the tax preparation documents. It’s still on the to-do list, but it becomes more manageable to get done.
  • Keep that list and check things off as you complete them. There is something very powerful about – “I did it!” whether you’ve done it on your own or with the help of others.

Mindfulness comes in many forms and asking for help allows you to press pause and mute the mind chatter.



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