Having had just come out of a major meltdown a few days ago, I feel qualified to talk about the benefits of crying.
I am not, however, the only one who feels it’s all right to cry. Rosey Grier, the 300-pound former NFL lineman, bodyguard for Senator Robert Kennedy during the 1968 presidential campaign, singer, Protestant Minister, inspirational speaker, and a man who does needlepoint, feels the same way. I am in good company.
Mr. Grier gave an iconic performance of a song titled “It’s All Right to Cry,” which was featured on the groundbreaking 1972 children’s album and 1974 special, Free to Be…You and Me, compiled by Marlo Thomas. His performance deliberately challenged the notion that children, especially boys, shouldn’t cry. He said emotional vulnerability is healthy.
In our modern culture we are encouraged to have emotional restraint. In order to get people to stop crying, we use dismissive cliches like “If you don’t stop crying, I’ll give you something to cry about,” or “don’t cry, everything happens for a reason, “ or “it could be worse,” and then there’s the all-time classic, “Toughen up.” We bring comfort and connection when we say things like: “I’m here for you,” “I know this is hard,” You don’t have to go through this alone.” Sometimes a simple “I’m sorry” goes a long way.
Before my father died, 34 years ago, I was having a terrible time watching him in pain. I didn’t know where to go with that pain, so I bought a rocker. Whenever the pain looked unbearable on my father’s face, I would go home and have a cry fest in my rocker. I always felt better afterwards.
By allowing yourself to cry, you are actively flushing toxins out of your body and neurochemicals are released that dull physical and emotional pain and bring stress relief.
Crying is an act of maintenance, not a sign of weakness. By letting the tears fall you are allowing your body to regulate your nervous system and restore a healthy emotional balance.
The lyrics from “It’s All Right to Cry” have stayed with me since I first heard them in 1974.
“It’s all right to cry –
Crying gets the sad out of you
It’s all right to cry
It might make you feel better.”
Reflection: When was the last time you had a really good cry?
Today’s Practice: I invite you to get the sad out of you by allowing yourself to cry.