Self Kindness

Finding Your Way in Transitions, Part 2 of 3: The In-Between Stage

The Inbetween by bastien-nvs-R7EfLoHHpPk-unsplash

In this second part we’ll look at the In-Between stage. For caregivers it is the space between what was and what will be. Suzanne Braun Levine calls this space the Fertile Void and describes it as, “the long, slow, deep breath -the gathering in of strength – that precedes a daring leap into the unknown.”

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The Summer Solstice: A Time for Balance

Summer Solstice

Balmy summer afternoons seem made for these quieter pursuits, a twist on the traditional siesta of the Latin world. I have strong memories of sharing the front porch with my grandmother on summer days, each of us with a glass of iced tea and a book, magazine, or crossword puzzle. I remember the feel of the condensation cooling my hand when I gripped my glass, and I remember the soft background noises that were ever present: cicadas, lawn sprinklers, small children playing, the occasional barking dog.

But I also remember that, as she got older, my grandmother grew to dread those long summer afternoons – especially Sunday afternoons. Part of this was just the life of an empty nester. Without young children in her home, she and my grandfather were disconnected from the daily events so often tied to the school year, and no longer lived by its rhythm.

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Are You Willing to Raise Your Hand

Raise Your Hand

In the United States, more than nine million people – about one in five –  fall into the category of ‘caregiver,’ yet many neglect to raise their hands and acknowledge that they are. As roles change in our lives, whether temporarily helping a loved one or going in for the long haul, the guidebooks are unclear and far too long.

How often have you run that extra ‘mile’ and realized you went too far? Or perhaps worse, didn’t realize it until it showed up as your medical condition?

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Silencing Mind-Chatter

Silencing Mind Chatter

All of this can chip away at your emotions over time. The emotional outcome might be feelings of failure, worthlessness, hopelessness, or any other emotion. Perhaps your head ends up filled with thoughts like, “I’ll never be able to…” or “If only I had….” It’s understandable. All of it. And the things your mind keeps chattering at you only serve to distract and exhaust you.

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