I recently had the privilege of interviewing Dr. Mara Karpel with my co-host Cindy Gum on our YouTube channel, All Things Caregiving. Mara is an incredible woman who walked a long and determined road advocating for her mother while she was in the hospital. At one point, doctors were ready to place her mother into hospice care—but Mara and her family asked more questions, pushed for more support, and ultimately, her mother recovered and continued living a healthy life.
That conversation stayed with me.
It brought me back to a time when my dad was in assisted living. He would tell my mom stories of calling for help in the middle of the night—lying in pain, ringing the bell, and waiting… and waiting… with no response. At the time, my mom wondered if he might be overreacting. And I hesitated. I didn’t want to challenge her. I didn’t want to overstep. If I’m being honest, I was afraid—afraid of losing my dad, afraid of what I might find if I pushed harder.
If only I knew then what I know now.
When I later became the caregiver for my mom, something in me shifted. I found my voice. In the hospital, I asked questions. I challenged what didn’t feel right. I followed through. I often say there was probably a picture of me in the breakroom labeled, “Watch out for this woman.” And I was okay with that—because I was never going to let things go unaddressed again.
That advocacy continued when my mom entered assisted living. A “top-rated” facility that, at times, fell short in ways that mattered deeply. When she was going to be released without my knowledge, I was shocked and, yes, deeply upset. But more importantly, I spoke up. Very loud. Conversations were had. Attention was brought where it was needed.
During my conversation with Mara, she shared a documentary: No Country for Old People: A Nursing Home Exposé (available through Amazon). It’s not easy to watch—but it’s an important reminder. When profit becomes the primary driver in healthcare, we must remain aware, engaged, and willing to ask questions.
Let me also say this clearly—there are extraordinary caregivers, agencies, and communities doing beautiful, compassionate work every single day. I see it. I honor it.
This is not about blame.
It’s about awareness.
As caregivers, we must remember:
You have a voice.
Your loved ones have rights.
And sometimes, the most important thing you can do… is simply speak up.
Hugs,
Cyndi