November invites a turning inward. The days grow shorter, and nature begins its quiet retreat beneath the surface. I see it every morning when I walk my dog Chloe – trees are shedding, and the morning light is more subdued now. For caregivers—and for all of us navigating life’s many seasons—this time of year can stir a profound mix of emotions.
The holidays bring memories and meaning. They also bring reminders of what’s changed—of who’s no longer here, or of who we are now compared to who we once were. In this space, gratitude and grief often walk side by side. Especially if you’ve had loss during previous holiday seasons. 
I’ve come to think of this month as an opportunity to pause and reflect on the inner harvest—what I’ve gathered emotionally and spiritually over the year. Not what I’ve accomplished, but what I’ve endured, learned, released, or received. Some of this gratitude is easy to name—love that is shared, milestones in my family that are reached. But some of it is more hidden: quiet resilience, hard-won endurance, the vulnerability that comes from heartbreak.
Gratitude and Grief Can Coexist
Many of us were taught to see gratitude as a way to feel better. But what if gratitude is a companion to grief, and we allow it to walk beside us.
We can feel sorrow for what we’ve lost and gratitude for what remains. I have wonderful memories of holidays with my husband — and it is also the time of year that he died.
We can ache for a person who is gone and give thanks for the imprint they left on our lives. I keep this alive in myself by writing letters to Stan, in my journaling.
We can wish things were different and still be touched by beauty in a moment of connection, a shared laugh, a small kindness. For example, I allow myself to focus on the brilliant color of a liquid amber tree and can feel the intensity of its color in that moment.
This is the heart of emotional endurance—not pushing pain away, but learning to hold the complexity with grace.
The Practice of Gathering
In traditional harvest, we gather what has grown. In the inner harvest, let’s ask:
- What experiences have shaped me this year?
- What am I still carrying that I may be ready to lay down?
- What has grown quietly within me that I may not have fully named or honored?
Caregivers rarely get a season of rest. But we can still carve out small moments to acknowledge what has taken root—especially the invisible strengths that so often go unrecognized.
A Gentle Gratitude Practice
Find a quiet moment to breathe and reflect. Close your eyes if you like. Place a hand over your heart or your belly.
Ask yourself:
What do I feel grateful for right now—without trying to fix or change anything else I’m feeling?
Let the answer come softly. It might be something small: a hot cup of tea, a flicker of hope, the fact that you’re still showing up. Let it be enough.
Reflection Prompts
- What have I harvested from this year—not just what I’ve done, but who I’ve become?
- In what ways have grief and gratitude shown up together in my life?
Journaling Circle Invitation
In November’s Journaling Journeys Circle, we’ll explore Gratitude and Grief: The Inner Harvest—how both can live in us at once, and how naming what we’ve gathered this year can be an act of healing and renewal. You’ll have time to write, experience a brief guided journaling journey, and share if you wish.
You’re welcome exactly as you are—thankful, tired, grieving, hopeful, or somewhere in between.