It’s All Right to Cry

“It’s alright to cry
Crying gets the sad out of you
It’s alright to cry
It might make you feel better.”

We all know that shedding tears is acceptable and even expected when we are grieving. But what about those lesser occasions? What if we’ve had a really frustrating day when it seemed like nothing was going right? Perhaps we suffer from chronic pain and are having flare-ups that nothing will touch. Or maybe we’ve bonked our head on a cabinet door, stepped on a stray Lego brick with bare feet, or stubbed a toe.

Any of these can cause tears to well up, and do you know what? It is all right to cry; in fact, as the song goes, it might make you feel better.

When we cry, we are not just lubricating our eyes (actually, that’s done by a completely different kind of tears), we are releasing emotional tension, processing our feelings, and boosting our overall health.

What? Crying is healthy? Actually, yes! An article from Harvard Medical Publishing says that bottling our feelings, known clinically as repressive coping, can contribute to cardiovascular disease, hypertension, and mental health conditions. When we cry, we release all those feelings but also help our bodies to relax and our immune system to become more robust.

Crying isn’t only linked to negative experiences though. When we cry at weddings or happy news, we are letting go of pent-up excitement and expressing overflowing love. As well, crying encourages those around us to act with empathy and offer support.

Recently, I had one of those frustrating days and I was so exhausted and discouraged that I called my mother and said, “I just want to cry.”

Her response: “Then cry. A good cry is cleansing for the mind, body, and soul.”

She wasn’t wrong. I let the tears flow, and felt my whole being relax at the same time. A huge glass of water and a hot shower followed, and I emerged from it all feeling confident and capable. I also learned a lesson (yes, Mom, you were right: crying can make you feel better.

So, don’t be ashamed to cry over anything – sad or happy. Let your tears flow and the tension you’re holding inside will ease. It may not be a permanent fix – after all, as caregivers we  find  ourselves exhausted and frustrated as least as often as we feel joyful and excited, but it will give you a necessary release that’s ultimately a lot healthier than screaming into the void (or at a person) or banging our heads against a wall.

Raindrops from your eyes
Washing all the mad out of you
Raindrops from your eyes
It’s gonna make you feel better.”

*Lyrics are from “It’s Alright to Cry,” by Rosey Grier