We all carry a voice inside—sometimes gentle, sometimes harsh. It might whisper encouragement, offer reassurances, or lean into criticism. It’s what we often call self-talk: the running commentary of our inner world.
But what if we pause and listen beneath that voice?
What if there’s something deeper shaping the words we hear?
That’s what I’ve begun calling self-thought—the hidden layer underneath our self-talk.
Self-talk is the chatter.
Self-thought is the current.
Self-talk might say, “I’ll never get this right.”
But self-thought might quietly believe, “I’m only lovable when I succeed.”
One is easy to hear.
The other takes a little more listening.
A Caregiver’s Reflection
When I was a caregiver, I often repeated comforting words to myself:
“Everything’s going to be all right.”
I needed that phrase. It gave me something to hold onto.
But deep inside, my self-thought was more anxious.
There was fear. A quiet knowing that… maybe things wouldn’t be all right.
At least not in the way I wanted.
Looking back, I can see that I was trying to talk myself out of fear rather than tending to it.
If I had paused to name that fear—claimed it, validated it—it might have opened the door to something more solid:
Not certainty, but self-trust.
The kind of trust that says: “No matter what comes, I will find a way to meet it.”
That’s what I eventually learned.
Including in the final chapter of caregiving: losing my husband.
It wasn’t all right.
But I was.
Why This Matters
When we learn to listen more deeply, we don’t just change the words we say to ourselves—we shift our relationship to ourselves.
We stop trying to convince ourselves to feel differently, and instead begin to tell ourselves the truth—with kindness.
This is one of the ways we strengthen our inner muscles of resilience.
Especially self-trust, which is often built not through having all the answers, but through learning that we can stay with ourselves, even in uncertainty.
A Guided Inner Journey: Listening Beneath the Voice
Take a moment to settle in.
Let your shoulders drop. Let your breath soften.
Now, gently bring your attention inward…
to that familiar voice inside your mind—the one that comments, narrates, worries, encourages, critiques.
This is your self-talk—the running dialogue we all carry.
No need to judge it or change it.
Just notice. Be curious.
And now, let’s imagine that beneath that voice…
there is something deeper.
A quieter place that holds your long-held beliefs, your early imprints, your hidden hopes or fears.
This is what we might call your self-thought—
the root system that feeds the voice above.
Today, we’re not here to fix or analyze anything.
We’re simply going treasure hunting.
We’re listening kindly.
We’re inviting insight.
Journaling Prompt: Self-Talk & Self-Thought
Think of something you often say to yourself—especially in challenging moments.
Write it down. That’s your self-talk.
Now ask gently:
What might be the deeper belief or feeling beneath this voice?
Let your pen explore. That’s your self-thought.