Have you ever walked into a room and felt sad before anyone spoke? Or gone into the grocery store in a great mood, list in hand and by the time you leave, you're ready to scream? This is called energy. It's a powerful tool that if recognized, can be a useful life tool.
For family caregivers, at times, your loved one is filled with doubt, fear, loneliness, and sometimes even ashamed of what they are experiencing. Becoming more aware of their energy when you're around them and having the ability to navigate your way to the root cause can be a powerful skill to have. When you enter the room, observe what is happening, listen with an open mind to what they have to say, and ask questions to get a better feel of what is going on. Let them talk, so they know they are being heard.
At times, it's the energy in-between the words where the emotions are hiding — so listening, observing, and feeling the energy become critical skills. The alternative is assumptions which can lead to arguments, and mistakes that can ruin relationships. The choice of words we use and the infliction behind our voice is important to pay attention to.
Saying what you need and how you feel is essential as well. Yes, even to your loved one. When you hold on to your emotions, something could be expressed in anger and o one wins. So the way you phrase it is important, and opening up the communication can be powerful for you both. Here's an example; "It's difficult for me to know that you are in pain, and I can only imagine the thoughts that must race through you at times. Is there something that you can talk to me about, share with me? Please know I’m here for you.”
Speaking your truth and hearing what others are really saying are important. It erases the middle of the nights; "If only….." that happen. We are all human beings, navigating our way through this thing called life. Please, don't be afraid to speak your truth, listen to others, and have a compassionate heart. The world and your loved ones need more of it. So do you.