In our daily lives, we are faced with decisions, some easier than others. Do you ever feel like your feet are stuck in cement? “What if I make the wrong choice?” “I don’t know how I feel about this.” “Everyone will judge me if I’m wrong.” Creating that kind of ‘space’ around you establishes indecision and can be paralyzing.
Here’s the thing. You will make the wrong decision. You will say the wrong thing. You’re human. It’s inevitable. The sooner that you can make peace with that, the sooner you’ll find that you are un-stuck and find freedom in a way that you’ve never experienced.
I’ve had several conversations over the past week with people processing feelings. Trying to make a relationship work, handling death, changing careers, all of which can be difficult to deal with at times.
You’ve got to be able to feel your feelings without worry of others judging you or you trying to make someone else happy. You’ve got to show up, respectfully speak your truth, express your feelings in a way that honors you, and then take whatever the next step is.
It may be a ‘baby’ step; it may be a huge decision or shift. But if you are not honoring yourself in it, the rest becomes less significant. Honestly, this life passes far too quickly to sit in a relationship that isn’t working, to put boundaries from past relationships around the one that you're in, or regret the things you wish you had done or experienced.
In family caregiving, things can get muddled. I get it. Black and white become grey pretty quickly. I‘ve been there and as my Mom used to say "…been there done that." Yep, I sure have. I wish so often that I had a magic wand, a magic recipe that I could hand to all of you, I genuinely do. The best thing that I can continue to offer is urging you to take care of yourself, first. To find something that makes your heart sing, now. To reach out to those that are standing next to you offering help or support. To honor both you and your loved one for where you are, and where you are not. And find peace with it. Allow yourself the ability to change your perspective.
What I know for sure is that you’ll blink and it’s all over. Please, be kind and gentle to YOU.